My kids are

so incredibly cute, I am amazed. Emmett is the apple of my eye. He prides himself on being good. He just wants everyone to be happy. He's laid back. He's gentle. He's artistic. He makes up these fantastic little stories. He's obedient and I think he is the coolest, cutest little boy ever. I love it that he loves skaters. The other day he saw a kid on a skateboard and said (loudly and excitedly) "Look Momma! A real live skater!!" I taught him that we support Obama. Today I was on the phone with my dad talking about Obama and he ran in and said (with great enthusiasm) "Mommy! Did Obama win?!" He also informed me today he doesn't like his hair style and wants a mohawk, because "Wouldn't that be cool Mommy?" and I told him that I like his hair the way it is. Today, Emmett picked out his shirt. He loves green.

Ethan is 100% boy and melts my heart. There is nothing he can do that is not cute, including throwing up. He is messy, non-demanding, and smiles all day at everyone. He won't let go if he's holding your hand. He loves playing games. We play this one game where he bites my nose and I immediately bite his tummy and say "You got me!". I have a whole different style for Ethan than for Emmett. Ethan's look is sort of Japanese -- like a layered slightly clashing style. I have a lot of neutral solids for him, but I'm not liking them as much lately. I'm into louder patterns for Ethan -- things I would never put Emmett in. I can tell already that Ethan is very much less sensitive than I am, but I also think he'll look more like me. Or maybe not. Who knows. Ethan is just sort of easy going. He's very trusting.

I adore these children. I can't believe they are mine. I wish I had the attention span to savor every minute, but I find myself struggling with trying to build a life and keep things in order and putting them off -- engaging them in activities that don't require me.

But then, I have a sleep issue. I'm working on our business plan and have been waking up at 4am every morning. It's like my body is operating on the least amount of sleep possible to enable me to wake up early. I have 3 hours that I can do this with.

I love my children. I love them more than anything I can possibly describe. Even when they are frustrating me, I still love them. I've never felt anything like this before. And tonight, they are especially cute. Emmett my little scholar is informing Mike that "Our lamp is cracked a little. See where I'm pointing? You see?" This is right after asking the definition of "taking advantage of" and calling me on not telling someone something (that it is wrong for me to keep a secret). He also prays three times a day for the men that live on the train tracks and asked if we could buy them a house. Or, just have them over to take a shower so they'd be all clean.

And Ethan -- my heart pounds when he wakes up in the morning. When I look into his crib and he smiles, I feel something I can only describe as infatuation. I adore him. I kiss and hug him constantly. When he reaches for me, I melt inside. Like how, God, did you give this to me. I don't deserve these perfect and amazing children.

Christos anesti.

For the past 5 years, I've been celebrating Orthodox Easter, which is happening today. In the Orthodox view, this is by far the most important holiday. There is a month long vegan fast that predesses it, and at midnight before it ends, a huge church service and feast. It's a celebration that feels as exciting as Christmas. And today, for the first time ever, I feel like THIS is the real Easter (not the American one).

If you think about it and you believe it, this is the most important day of the year.

Christ has risen. Christos anesti.

Yes - even more than I love bill,

I love Obama. I love it that he hates the system the way it is. I love it that he's young. I love it that he's black. I love it that he is white. I love that he has hope. I love his logo on his campaign. I love that he wants to give $4,000 back to every student that gives community service. I love that he defends his preacher. I love that he doesn't mudsling Hillary. I love that he's not radical. I TRUST this man, more than I've trusted any politician. I loved Bill, but you know what? I just really liked his personality and that was enough. With Obama, I actually trust him. I believe in him. He's corporate enough to navigate through an old system. He's strong enough to say no. He's young enough to have hope.

I am not punk rock

I never have been and I never will be. I hate the attitude. I hate the work ethic. I hate the drugs and the alcohol. Despite this, during a lot of my younger years, I gravitated to that group more than what should have been my own "style" group (hippie).

Now before I write this, let me tell you I am angry. I'm really, really angry. So now that's out of the way. Here I go.

I started listening to the music when I was in 8th grade, but I didn't even know what it was. Then, when I was 16, I developed a few friendships on the boardwalk in Ocean City within this punk rock group. I didn't really understand it, but I liked the style and thought this was a cool group. I remember sitting under the pavilion one night where these kids sat and one punk rock girl rushing another one. The girl that was pushed said "What are you doing" and the other girl said "F.U. It's punk rock" and I looked at that girl and said "You are so lame" and got up and walked away. I didn't really realize it, but what she was saying was true.

Then in college, there was this strange mix of people that I hung around with, but a lot of them were punk rock. I didn't notice anything "mean", but when I think about it really, there were some mean things. The truth is, by that time, I was pretty mean too despite my peace loving, 70's style. (I progressed from late 60's to early 70's by college).

This brings us to now. I still have these punk rock friends and over the past two weekends, I finally FINALLY get it. And I am so angry at two of my "punk rock" friends who continue to shock me with their rudeness, disregard for my life, immaturity and selfishness. I was talking to Mike and he said "Well Elisabeth. It's just kind of punk rock". Here's what I saw of this culture I'm beginning to hate.

1. Selfishness. Not worrying if you can't find someone. Not worrying if you think they're dead. Not trying to stop a 35 year old man from huffing kitchen cleaning chemicals at a party. Not looking on the ground even though you think he fell two stories over a fence from being so messed up.

2. Rudeness. Making fun of anyone and anything for any reason. This includes saying things to a 4 year old like "Mommy, wipe me".

3. Embracing Immaturity. Using words that "that's retarded" or "you're so gay" or "You're acting like a f***#$ retard Elisabeth".

4. Talking about gross things. This includes and is centered around potty humor including telling a group of other punks that the reason "Elisabeth isn't here is probably because she had to take a dump".

5. Disrespect for God. Including making up things that aren't in the Bible (i.e. that the Bible says the world is 5,000 years old) and refusing to look it up or to believe me, because I don't know anything.

6. Being rude. Not saying thank you to the person that made you 3 VERSIONS of stickers within 3 days of your request. And when there was a problem with the printer sending the stickers back late, broadcasting that your friend does everything slow and saying "Elisabeth, I don't want them. Send them back".

So here it is for real. I have these two friends and I am so angry at them right now. I'm angry at them for being those things. I'm angry at them for being takers, moochers, disregarding me and who I am and what I am. I'm mad at them for being racy around my children and making fun of my family. Last night I started thinking about it and realized THIS is punk rock. THIS is what they are and what they'll always be. And for me to expect more is not possible. They are losers. And I know they love me, but it's really not enough. I hate this culture and I'm done wasting time.

i've never

loved a candidate more.

Projects. I'm doing so many

things right now. Here is a quick list of things I just finished or am working on:

1. Freelance Client: I've been working on a business summary tirelessly. At this poiint, it's 27 pages with about 30 had a meeting yesterday based on a 27 page document that I was bringing two copies of. And the printer broke.

2. Circle Thrift Flyers: These were fun and I got to use Indesign. I made 8 large, 8 medium and 4 small all in the same campaign. Keep an eye out for them. Some have a "Donate Message" in green and some have a "Buy" message in yellow. I am proud of these because the fonts took a long time to make like that and I think they look really cool when they're all together. Maybe I'll post them all sometime later this week.

3. Ethan's Baptism Invitations: Believe it or not, this was a project. I've been working with Audrey, but it's taken awhile to figure it out. In the end, we came up with pool blue background, khaki text, a greek cross and stone lettering.


4. Monster Tantrum Business Cards: Emmett's t-shirt business. We just have to make the site. I really want to post this, but I have to find it. His drawing is so cute.Update. I added a photo, but this isn't the actual final design. I just threw something together so I could get Emmett's drawing up there. The real one has the web address and email.

5. St. George Festival Advertising: Every year we do the St. George festival magazine and the advertising associated with it. Here's a part of one of the ads I made up for them. This ad is kind of ugly and just for the bulletin, but I'm putting it up because I put a picutre of Ethan in it.

6. Living Room Clothing: We met with one of our vendors yesterday and talked about some stuff we want to do in the future. It was an awesome meeting. We made the right choice. We now have organic black & white shirts. By June, we should also have colors.




7. Kat Klix Stickers: Done a few weeks ago, but just arrived yesterday. I made three designs and they went with the one I liked the least. I am very curious to do a poll on which of these you like. Keep in mind, I was limited to a "Dollar" theme, so I had to go in that direction.

When I was little, I was so embarassed

of the following:

1. Being Greek, because I thought Greeks were weird and unattractive
2. Wearing thrift shop clothes
3. Not going to Catholic School after school (CCD)
4. Not being allowed to go trick-or-treating or sing the Halloween songs at school
5. Not having a TV
6. That my parents listened to classical music
7. That we lived in a weird house on a hill
8. That we were not allowed to play with certain kids on our street
9. That my dad would get so angry at my friends
10. That we weren't allowed to listen to non Christian music

Now that I'm older, I'm so not embarrassed of some of these things. In fact, I'm proud to have been raised in an environment that was so focused on protecting us from our horrific environment. So this post is to say Thank You Mom and Dad for marrying Greek, because I love my heritage and I think any pure mix is more beautiful. Thank you for being cool and dressing us in thrift shop clothes long before it was in style. Thank you for not being Catholic, because I would not be religious if we were. Thank you for being so involved in our upbringing, that you took the safe road with Halloween and tried so hard to make it just as fun for us with going to the shore and hiding candy all around Uncle Nick's house. Thank you for loving classical music, and blasting it in the car because, even though I didn't think it was cool at the time, I know it added to my own sense of culture.

Thank you for not having a TV because you were ahead of your time and all of our creativity was developed very young to counterbalance this. And one more note on that -- thank you especially mom for not having a TV because you were the one that had to deal with two little girls full time, and I know that I use the TV as a distraction when I really need one. Thank you for picking the weirdest house in Upper Darby. It had space and you made it like a museum with sculptures and plants -- even though it was haunted, that was my favorite house and I miss it. And even though it was hard for you guys, thank you for not letting us play with Bobby and Denise. Bobby molested the boy next door and went to jail, and Denise got pregnant in 9th grade. Both of them ended up being into drugs. I don't know how you could see they were both so bad, but you were right. Thank you for doing that. How hard it must have been to deal with two, crying, demanding little girls that didn't understand. Dad...I am not happy that you used to get mad at my friends, but I understand it now. I get that you were not a kid person. I get that we were irritating. I know that our lives were hard then...so thank you for keeping that from us. We didn't know we were poor. We didn't know there were problems. If you got angry at us sometimes, I forgive you, because it was a lesser show of reality. And about the non-Christian music. Well, thank you for letting me listen to Amy Grant. And the truth is, when it was time and I just turned on 98 WCAUFM that morning when I was 13 years old and just listened to it all day, thank you for letting me do it and not making me shut it off. It was time for me to move into that world and you allowed it.

In the end, I'm still off, but that has a great deal to do with the natural way that our family is and its something I've learned to embrace. You never taught us that being "the same" was right. You always made it cool that we were weird. You promoted us as "The Munsters" and made it seem like a cool thing. You told us we were artists. You told us we were creative. You encouraged us to dye our hair. You encouraged us to get into offbeat things. How lucky I am. How proud I am. I'm an oddball that came from a family that loved it. I grew up in a family that encouraged out of the box thinking and strange ways of looking at life. I grew up with a dad that did artistic things at the JC Penny portrait studio...and with a Mom that drew me when I was 6 years old.

For all the times I yelled about everything, I'm sorry. All of my creative confidence...everything I am is a result of the support, love and encouragement of my parents.

Thank You.

I miss beth.

I miss her so much. I took a nap this afternoon and I dreamed about moving to New Mexico near her, and in my dream, we lived in a very uncomfortable house with low ceilings and I felt very detached from everything. But all day today, I've been thinking of her...wishing she lived in Philly again. Lamenting the loss of the mom I felt completely uninhibited around. If she had stayed, I'm convinced Beth would have become one of my closest friends. Here she is: http://www.ehaidle.com/ She also writes Comicosmos. And the book photo is a book she has on Amazon.

As always, so much is happening and I want to write some things down for my own archival sake.

My Kids
Ethan: Ethan continues to produce feelings in me I can't believe I can experience. My heart leaps when he smiles at me. I feel love so strong, when I hug him I'm actually squeezing him. I love holding him. I love his smile and his utter "maleness" that's evident even as a baby. He is a BOY from the start, with this boyish personality that involves a brute strength and simple (but demanding) view of things he wants. I am worried because the back of his head is still flat and I keep imagining this boy I went to highschool with that had a very flat head.

Emmett: He is so incredibly sensitive, slow, intelligent and unusual. He sees things (in clouds and puddles) in shapes that I see them. He flips positive space and negative space in forms just like me, and at last, I can say to someone "Doesn't the shape of that mountain look like a solider holding a jacket" and Emmett will say "I see that Mommy...and it looks like the jacket has a hood". Emmett's sensitivity is also like me, but I have a tough skin and a (sometimes) blunt disposition. So a quick flash of frustration is perceived by Emmett and he takes it very personally. And unlike me, Emmett holds his feelings in. To deal with this, I made a sign that's hanging on the fridge that has a picture of Emmett imaginging me angry with the words "Are you mad at me". whenever Emmett thinks I'm mad, he is supposed to give me that picture.

Last night, I had some friends over and found myself endlessly frustrated with them and the way I relate with them. All of them are atheist or agnostic or something, and they think it's a great time to attack my religious beliefs. I let a lot go, but finally, it all came to a head. I said "You love to criticize me. You love to say what you think. You love to attack and assume everything I say is wrong. But you give me no chance to defend myself. You don't care what I actually think." and in a pause, one of them made the serious mistake of asking me what I thought. I looked at them and in a burst said (without even thinking about it) " I think you're all really, really stupid. You don't think there's ANYTHING besides you? You think mankind is the "top"?

And I realized that I believe that anyone that can't (at the very least) UNDERSTAND why people believe there's a higher power of some kind or have some kind of reasoning or belief about how everything works --- ARE stupid in my opinion. It is NATURAL for mankind to seek God. It's been happening since the beginning of time. There is a collective unconscious.

I slept all day today thanks to my awesome husband. I also revisited a site that fascinated me 3 years ago. It's all about the way men think of women. Anyway, it's found here: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html I didn't get as into it this time, but believe there's some merit in what this guy is saying, as unfortunate as it is.

Our t-shirts are on order. I won't say much more than that.
We're Living Room Clothing now.
More later.