I am not punk rock

I never have been and I never will be. I hate the attitude. I hate the work ethic. I hate the drugs and the alcohol. Despite this, during a lot of my younger years, I gravitated to that group more than what should have been my own "style" group (hippie).

Now before I write this, let me tell you I am angry. I'm really, really angry. So now that's out of the way. Here I go.

I started listening to the music when I was in 8th grade, but I didn't even know what it was. Then, when I was 16, I developed a few friendships on the boardwalk in Ocean City within this punk rock group. I didn't really understand it, but I liked the style and thought this was a cool group. I remember sitting under the pavilion one night where these kids sat and one punk rock girl rushing another one. The girl that was pushed said "What are you doing" and the other girl said "F.U. It's punk rock" and I looked at that girl and said "You are so lame" and got up and walked away. I didn't really realize it, but what she was saying was true.

Then in college, there was this strange mix of people that I hung around with, but a lot of them were punk rock. I didn't notice anything "mean", but when I think about it really, there were some mean things. The truth is, by that time, I was pretty mean too despite my peace loving, 70's style. (I progressed from late 60's to early 70's by college).

This brings us to now. I still have these punk rock friends and over the past two weekends, I finally FINALLY get it. And I am so angry at two of my "punk rock" friends who continue to shock me with their rudeness, disregard for my life, immaturity and selfishness. I was talking to Mike and he said "Well Elisabeth. It's just kind of punk rock". Here's what I saw of this culture I'm beginning to hate.

1. Selfishness. Not worrying if you can't find someone. Not worrying if you think they're dead. Not trying to stop a 35 year old man from huffing kitchen cleaning chemicals at a party. Not looking on the ground even though you think he fell two stories over a fence from being so messed up.

2. Rudeness. Making fun of anyone and anything for any reason. This includes saying things to a 4 year old like "Mommy, wipe me".

3. Embracing Immaturity. Using words that "that's retarded" or "you're so gay" or "You're acting like a f***#$ retard Elisabeth".

4. Talking about gross things. This includes and is centered around potty humor including telling a group of other punks that the reason "Elisabeth isn't here is probably because she had to take a dump".

5. Disrespect for God. Including making up things that aren't in the Bible (i.e. that the Bible says the world is 5,000 years old) and refusing to look it up or to believe me, because I don't know anything.

6. Being rude. Not saying thank you to the person that made you 3 VERSIONS of stickers within 3 days of your request. And when there was a problem with the printer sending the stickers back late, broadcasting that your friend does everything slow and saying "Elisabeth, I don't want them. Send them back".

So here it is for real. I have these two friends and I am so angry at them right now. I'm angry at them for being those things. I'm angry at them for being takers, moochers, disregarding me and who I am and what I am. I'm mad at them for being racy around my children and making fun of my family. Last night I started thinking about it and realized THIS is punk rock. THIS is what they are and what they'll always be. And for me to expect more is not possible. They are losers. And I know they love me, but it's really not enough. I hate this culture and I'm done wasting time.