My kids are

so incredibly cute, I am amazed. Emmett is the apple of my eye. He prides himself on being good. He just wants everyone to be happy. He's laid back. He's gentle. He's artistic. He makes up these fantastic little stories. He's obedient and I think he is the coolest, cutest little boy ever. I love it that he loves skaters. The other day he saw a kid on a skateboard and said (loudly and excitedly) "Look Momma! A real live skater!!" I taught him that we support Obama. Today I was on the phone with my dad talking about Obama and he ran in and said (with great enthusiasm) "Mommy! Did Obama win?!" He also informed me today he doesn't like his hair style and wants a mohawk, because "Wouldn't that be cool Mommy?" and I told him that I like his hair the way it is. Today, Emmett picked out his shirt. He loves green.

Ethan is 100% boy and melts my heart. There is nothing he can do that is not cute, including throwing up. He is messy, non-demanding, and smiles all day at everyone. He won't let go if he's holding your hand. He loves playing games. We play this one game where he bites my nose and I immediately bite his tummy and say "You got me!". I have a whole different style for Ethan than for Emmett. Ethan's look is sort of Japanese -- like a layered slightly clashing style. I have a lot of neutral solids for him, but I'm not liking them as much lately. I'm into louder patterns for Ethan -- things I would never put Emmett in. I can tell already that Ethan is very much less sensitive than I am, but I also think he'll look more like me. Or maybe not. Who knows. Ethan is just sort of easy going. He's very trusting.

I adore these children. I can't believe they are mine. I wish I had the attention span to savor every minute, but I find myself struggling with trying to build a life and keep things in order and putting them off -- engaging them in activities that don't require me.

But then, I have a sleep issue. I'm working on our business plan and have been waking up at 4am every morning. It's like my body is operating on the least amount of sleep possible to enable me to wake up early. I have 3 hours that I can do this with.

I love my children. I love them more than anything I can possibly describe. Even when they are frustrating me, I still love them. I've never felt anything like this before. And tonight, they are especially cute. Emmett my little scholar is informing Mike that "Our lamp is cracked a little. See where I'm pointing? You see?" This is right after asking the definition of "taking advantage of" and calling me on not telling someone something (that it is wrong for me to keep a secret). He also prays three times a day for the men that live on the train tracks and asked if we could buy them a house. Or, just have them over to take a shower so they'd be all clean.

And Ethan -- my heart pounds when he wakes up in the morning. When I look into his crib and he smiles, I feel something I can only describe as infatuation. I adore him. I kiss and hug him constantly. When he reaches for me, I melt inside. Like how, God, did you give this to me. I don't deserve these perfect and amazing children.