i feel pathetic

I am on the verge of tears, and it's been going on since yesterday. I feel a weighty depression that's leading me to be irritated with Emmett and to want to separate from Mike.

I feel pathetic because I'm part of this flea market and I'm getting way too into it, making me realize how sad my life really is. I am caring way too much about this because there is not much passion left. I am dulled from my mothering job and am desperate for stimulation. It ends up, that I do all this free stuff for people and it makes me even more depressed. I'm tired of doing things for free.

Emmett has been less easy lately, and clearly it's because I've slacked on disciplining him. He is acting more spoiled than ever and as soon as I lay down the law he behaves. He needs my attention really bad and I have very little to give to him.

I can't stand this role anymore. I'm not cut out to be a mother. I'm not cut out to be a wife. Everything Emmett is doing right now is driving me crazy.