I want another child

but I'm afraid of certain things. That's the delay in a second child.This weekend, on our 6th Anniversary, Mike and I finally talked about it a little bit.

Most of the mothers I know that have one kid and are totally fine with it. They're not planning for more and they don't fear having regrets. But Mike and I can't seem to justify the one kid family. I think it's because he grew up almost an only child (with two much older sisters) and because all the only children we know seem to have some sort of residual anger at being an only child. It comes down to Emmett.

For me, the major problem (aside from the actual pregnancy) is favortism. I don't want to be a parent that favors one over the other. I know it's my tendency (I'm always thinking, which is my favorite about almost everything) and I worry for another child. Emmett is my firstborn. He is everything I could ever want in a child. There will never be anyone that can replace him or get more of my love. Not only because he's an amazing kid, but because he is my first.

Having grown up in a family where favoritism wasn't intentionally shown (but was there), I know that not being favored by a parent was exceptionally hard for me. I don't want to do this to my own children. I am very worried that we could mess them up.

All this to say, we've started talking about it as a real possibility. But don't expect anything too soon.