It was my last Ani DiFranco show

ever. I knew that when I went. I wanted to say goodbye to that part of my life officially. I have grown past Ani DiFranco in many ways. What she represented in my life was a period of female angst, frustration, wildness and rebellion. So, my friend and I went to the show and a very strange thing happened.

Rather than "saying goodbye" to Ani DiFranco and that time, being at the show brought me back into a period of my early 20's. I lost the person I am now and I became the person I was then. So in a bizzare way, I don't think I have an association to that music outside of what it was. I still love it, but I can't be in it like I used to be.

My thoughts have been going deeper and deeper lately. I am in a constant state of analysis. I am recognizing the realness of God in people. I used to be so into Objectivism in the empty one dimensional side of humanity. But now I'm seeing the opposite. I'm seeing how important people are and how meaningful interactions can be.

It's so silly, my life, really. I am so caught up in email, shallow situations and proving things. Aside from my family, my focuses are very immature. I want so much right now to be serious all the time. i want to find deeper realities that exist outside of my head. I want to feel things more. I want to feel God more. Overall, I just want to feel more -- and feel more of the wholesome things. I want to feel more of the things that make me feel like laughing and crying at the same time.