For me, stress is

a major factor in getting things done. I use stress positvely and put extreme pressure on myself to get massive amounts done in a short amount of time. I like stress because in it, I produce.

So mentally, I enjoy it. But physically, I suffer. Stress causes a serious problem for me in my stomach, on my back, and with panic attacks. And it's strange because I (literally) don't even know it's happening. I don't realize that I'm struggling until I begin to experience physical signs.

Since last night, my stomach has been hurting. Mike prayed for me this morning and I do feel better. I don't feel stressed out exactly. I know there's a lot to do but this pressure is in my usual process. But usually, after an anxiety-ridden situation is over, I have a panic attack (trouble breathing, fast heart pumping). And, the skin on my back gets very pimply.

And I don't really get it. Stress is something I need. I feel like (for the most part) I can handle it. I don't know how I would live a stress free life.

I'm really thinking about this. Is it healthy or not? Physically, you look at this and think, no. But mentally, it is. I'm starting to think that sometimes physical health and emotional health can be in conflict with one another. I firmly believe that stress (like the kind I have right now) is emotionally and mentally healthy. I actually enjoy it. But physically, my body can't take the influx of whatever chemicals I use to get me through it.

It's the Christening. That's what this is all about. And also, that I did a 50 page Powerpoint in 15 hours for a 1 day deadline.