I wonder how much it would change me
if I went back into the corporate world. I got a call today from a headhunter asking me for my salary requirements. Then I got an email from a company looking to hire a copywriter. It's been 7 years since I worked full-time at a company. The last one I worked at was Comcast.The main reason I left Comcast and never went back, was because I didn't like the person I was becoming. I was extremely caught up in my career and loved being part of a city landscape during lunch. I loved being all obsessed with nice restaurants, happy hours, and (physically) walking in a corporate way. I loved shopping at Banana Republic daily. I loved paying full price for things, and not even caring. If I wanted anything, I just bought it.
But, I didn't love the loss of creativity. Comcast had all of me and all of my creativity. I became safe in my tastes to the point that I wanted our Christmas tree to look like the one in Macy's.
Despite myself, I became aware of a certain superiority I felt and decided that I had to stop myself. All this in addition to an amount of stress that caused me to have sweaty palms at all times and created conversation with Mike that related only to work. So, when we moved to LA, I decided not to look back and to be freelance exclusively.
It was a good decision, because by the time we had Emmett, there was no "decision" to make. Although, ironically enough, when I first got pregnant (before you could tell), I decided to apply for a job, which I got, and it was hard to say no to it because it paid well. But I had no choice. We were moving back to Philly to have our baby.
I'm rambling on here, because all day yesterday I was thinking about going back into the working world and my heart started pounding and I felt so excited and thought, we could be okay financially again...and I miss getting dressed that way...and I miss walking to work...and I miss writing for good companies. I miss it all. I'm really, really good at being corporate, and I miss it.
So I stopped last night and examined myself, I realized that it would all happen again. I would be so caught up in it. I would be so into it. I would love it and hate it. My world would be that. Despite it, I'm buyable. At a certain salary, I would do it, even though it's all true. I think some lessons you just have to re-learn a few times.
posted by sabbeth @ 4:22 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Very interesting. For me, a 9-to-5 job is all about feeling safe. I would love to be freelance, but I don't have the guts or the confidence that I could make a decent living at it. Also, I like having lots of non-work time, and I think I'd have to work even more if I were freelance than I do now. But the trade-off is, my job owns my time from 9-5 M-F.
Yes. There is a trade off there. If you are a person that likes schedules and routines, a 9-5 job is the best. Freelancing isn't great, don't get me wrong. It's got all kinds of stress associated with it. But for me, it keeps me humble.
Yeah...I don't particularly like schedules, but I don't think I could deal with the monetary uncertainty of freelancing. It would make me too anxious. But I admire you for being able to do it.
I understand how you feel completely.
I often miss that feeling of the paid by someone else accomplishment and feeling worth it. I miss the getting ready,getting there, and being part of the "work force". The truth is we always kind of want what we don't have. I liked my job when I had it, but always wanted to break away somehow. Now we broke away, and wonder what it would be like to go back.
I like the idea that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. I think you chose wisely when you chose character and quality of your relationships over earning potential.
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