Today's post - from Venice Beach (literally)

I woke up this morning at 5:00 LA time, totally unable to sleep. Mike and I are both sick and we went to bed late. Audrey is having contractions but they may last a few days. I asked Mike if he wanted to go for a walk and he said no. So I got up, put on my crappy plane clothes, got a cup of coffee and I'm sitting here on the beach writing.

I have to say, deep in my heart, I'm deeply saddened that we do not live here. Jessica, I'm sorry. This is the last thing you want to hear. When Mike and I first moved here, I referred to this place as an actual paradise. And I think it is.

When we got off the plane, the first thing I was met with (aside from the fact that even the airport has decent loudspeaker music) was the progression. That everything here seems fair. Everything makes sense. Everything is constructed for the time we're living in now, unlike the East Coast, which is leftover from a time long ago. Roads make sense. Architecture is modern and efficient. It all makes sense. Even the weather. For the time we live in now, a very busy time, being able to "do" all the time makes life easier. There's a sense of possibility here -- even people without money can seem to make this work.

It leads me to feel sad. Sad that we wasted the time when we were here. Sad that we moved when we did. Sad that we didn't buy the 600,000 beachfront property in 2000. Sad to go back to what suddenly seems like a gritty and unnatural place to live. Sad that this kind of beauty and lifestyle is reserved for the rich. But mostly sad that I am a water person -- a beach person and that I may never live near a beach again. ((I write that half not believeing it).

It's not possible to be freespirited when you have a child. To everyone that reads this blog -- almost none of you have children. This is my statement to you: If you want to move, do it now. If you want to be extreme and bohemian, do it now. You simply can't justify this when you have a child. Every move is permanent and serious becuase you know your child needs stability and to establish friendships. I never want Emmett to be the kid that says "Well, we moved around a lot". I cherish the old friendships I have. They are seriously important to me. They (in part) define who I am. Even though we lived in a crappy part of Upper Darby.

There's a feeling of boundlessness and freedom that happens for me when I'm looking at the water. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I've gotten to teh end of teh place I can actualy go. I feel less confined and more creative.

Having said all of this, this progressive city does have its serious problems, for which at this moment, I am thankful. Namely, the smog and the earthquakes.Sadly, these two things are a condolence for me right now (especially the earthquakes). And also, that everyone here is so beautiful and (for the most part) so not deep. If I could move the East Coast people to the West Coast, i think living in the shadow of a potential earthquake would be okay.

Alright. My hands are freezing. And as it's getting lighter outside, the romance here is fading a little. I should go back to my room, get dressed, and see what is actually happening today. I love you all so much. I am so thankful that I have such a wonderful garden of friends.