so so tired and about to go on trip

I am. To the point that I'm thinking like Yoda, in that strange sentence kind of way. Anyway, it's 4:42 and I've had 2 hours sleep. When Mike came in (at like 3) he woke me up and I wasn't able to get back. He kept grinding his teeth and I kept yelling at him, hoping that subconsciously, he'd associate grinding his teeth with being yelled at.

My dad is going to be here in 15 minutes and then we're off to Florida for 10 days. I got a flight deal for $35 round trip and my relatives decided to have their baby's christening when we were there (and asked me to be the godmother). I'm honored but nervous.

I'm irritated with the weight of this pregnancy and can't wait until I can have my old body back again. I realize that it's very important for me to feel pretty and that being pregnant, I feel sort of "cute" sometimes, but it really doesn't do it for me.

Other than that, I go through infatuations with people and things like a little girl in a babydoll aisle. I'm constantly becoming entranced with someone or something new, and then it fades away like the hum after a delusional, dreamer-based conversation with a pile of friends. I can't keep up with myself and wish I didn't want to be so "in touch" with what I feel. Because unlike a regular person, I can't just be in touch with the actual feeling. I have to figure out why I'm feeling it. And if you do this, you know, that there are 50 million conclusions you can come to -- like a map with millions of different routes to get to the destination. So you keep thinking -- until you find the one you like, and you never know if it's even right. Or if you should keep thinking.