Here's some proof that

"friends with benefits" is a concept that doesn't work. A girl I really like came down on Friday to see this guy she sleeps with about once a month. They're just "friends" and have been friends for about 10 years. All along, he's said it's nothing more. But all along I've known (and several other people have known) that she is into him because it's obvious. I made warnings to this guy and told him he should back off or just recognize it. He didn't want to hear it or deal with it. If it was left unsaid, I think he felt not to blame.

The problem is, this is a really sweet, gentle and sensitive girl. She has problems, but I genuinely like her. This weekend, when she came down from NY, she told me she was getting into a real relationship with someone else and that it was hard for her to stop seeing this guy. So, she told the guy -- hoping to find something kind or loving in him. There was nothing. He said "Why are you acting like we have a relationship? Your emotions are way too strong for this situation."

I am friends with both of them, but much better friends with the guy. Somehow, I've gotten into the middle of this situation and I'm always "supporting" the ruins of this impossible arrangement. Last night, when she was at my house crying for three hours, I started getting really irritated with his lack of irresponsibility. I counseled her as much as I could, and when he came over later, I made him deal with it and made them talk.

There's a certain point that a person knows that another person is in love with them. To keep that person around -- ignoring their feelings just to get what you want "blamelessly" -- is just wrong. I started thinking about this guy and the fact that he has KNOWN this the whole time and thinking about how callous it is to let someone love you when you don't love them back. Whenever a guy has liked me -- particularly a friend -- I would immediately move away from the friendship so they wouldn't be hurt by me if I wasn't interested. I know today I'm going to have to talk about this more and somehow resist aligning against him with her.

Marriage really is better. Thank God I'm not in the dating scene.