emmett is outside

in the pool we got him. He's having so much fun. Ana is watching him today and my mother is here. I have a very hard time being around my mother. There isn't anything she's doing wrong, but when she's on her brand new computer that Audrey and Josh gave her as a gift for helping them with Javin for 4 months fulltime...and when she's making plans to go back to LA, promising to be back by October 1 (the month I'm due)...Even though she says she'll help me, in some ways, I don't want her to. And I'm paying Ana to watch Emmett while my mother sits inside. Something feels wrong. (NOT about paying Ana. She's not getting a job so she can do this for me. I need her to do this. I don't mind...don't get me wrong. The juxtaposition is just weird).

I don't know what she's doing here today. I don't know what she wants from me. She swears she's going to be there when I have this baby, but I will not allow myself to believe her. Anything she does is a shock to me. I expect nothing from her ever. But where Audrey and her child is involved, I start to become resentful.