Mike had a dream

shedding skin
Originally uploaded by elisabethie.

the night before last that he murdered someone. And he was really upset about it. He said that he murdered them and didn't realize he'd done it and that he was apologizing to the dead person saying "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was murdering you".

I didn't take the dream to be negative, even though he was upset. I almost felt like it was about the fact that there have been deaths to certain parts of us -- maybe becuase when we got married (literally) we murdered certain parts of one another. It sounds terrible, but it's just the truth. It's an unfortunate side of reality...but it is reality.

I had a dream once where there was a woman I disliked and I decided to poisen her. (The dream had a very "Heathers" feeling. Sort of candy surreal). She didn't know I poisened her and started to have all these terrible reactions to the poisen. It wasn't "instant". In fact, it was agonizingly long, and I found myself doing everything I could to save her -- never admitting the truth. At the end of the dream I threw a mrble in this flat disk-like casino wheel (unmarked) and just watched the marble spin.

Every time we step, we kill something. When we leave here, we're killing some things that started to grow. We're leaving it unattended and we're going to a new garden. When we left Philly, a lot of things died for us. When we left LA, things in LA died. The only things that last when you leave them are things that don't need constant attention.