I am not

her. But I wish I was. For Emmett's sake, I wish I could focus on traditional gender roles. And be just a mom. And not want more than that.

I'm not looking for praise at my dynamic personality, and how great it is that I'm interested in life etc. etc. I give myself that a lot of the time. This is just a post where I'm thinking about what I'm not, and realizing that although I've criticized that type of woman for many, many years, there is something to be said for teh woman that loves taking care of the home and family. It's selfless and giving. It's thankless, unglorious work. And to be satisfied with that is not to care about what a person like me thinks.

But for Emmett's sake, I wish "mom" could be my identity. It's still not, even though I try to make it be. I'm still Elisabeth first.

But today I felt more mom than usual. I woke up, gave Emmett a bath and Mike and I made Emmett and Nate breakfast. Emmett is so excited when Nate is here, which is another benefit to Wayne living here.

I have a lot to prepare for Monday. It's revisiting my professional persona. My overly confident persona, with all kinds of industry words and hard thinking. I dread it but I'm excited. Mostly, I dread it. And the reason is because my portfolio needs updating (major ordeal) and I need a new outfit. Designers and copywriters have to be edgy but professional. Thank God for Banana Republic.

As I'm writing, I'm not paying attention to Emmett's repeated phrases "I crashed my truck". All he wants me to do is look at it. And I should.