I never let myself be
beautiful.
I feel so unfeminine.
Watching Sex in the City is like poisen for me.
I just want to be a beautiful, well-dressed woman, and have an expensive coat and shoes that match a particular outfit -- to even understand shoes. I want to spend hours on my face and have enough time to do my hair. I want to be the girl I never was. I said to Mike "I will never once be that well dressed in my lifetime". And it wasn't designed as an attack on him. It showcases the fact that I feel I've wasted my youth, wasted my pretty years, in an alternative fashion designed for people with problems that need attention.
I watch that show with all the unusual fashions and interesting make-up and beautiful hairstyles and think why haven't I ever done that? Why do I own only one pair of dressy shoes from Payless? And I think it's because we don't have the money. But more than that, it's because other things are a priority.
Mike and I aren't poor. We do buy things. But I never buy things like that. I never buy a "full" outfit. I never buy anything specific, because it feels wasteful. I'm always struggling, buying only what's on sale, trying to figure out the fastest way to look acceptable. And it's not because of Emmett. It's because of me.
posted by sabbeth @ 11:23 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
You could still do it, if you really wanted to. Just to try it out. You are very pretty, and you're younger than those women on Sex and the City. And I think you know more about fashion than you give yourself credit for.
For some reason, I've never really gotten into the hair/makeup/clothes thing. Sometimes I feel unfeminine b/c of the fact that I'm not interested in it.
Faith, great post. That inspires me.
Elisabeth, I always see you as being totally put together. Even when you are wearing a comfy outfit, it looks like you planned it and you look great. (you too fraulein)
I do understand what you are saying about spending those years going for that "alternative" look. I did something similar. My thing was I was always trying to be "one of the guys" since I didn't feel like I was attractive enough to be accepted as "one of the cute girls"... I've just recently really allowed myself to embrace my feminine side with a more mature look...that is hopefully at least a little cool. : )
Post a Comment
<< Home