Mike and I noticed something.

It seems like people are willing to help people that aren't desperately in need, but that here's a natural resistance to helping people that desperately need help.

For example, when Emmett and I traveled to Florida, it was extremely difficult. I was lugging his car seat, a carryon bag and pushing him in the stroller. By the time I got on the airplane, I was literally sweating. We almost missed the plane. I could barely do it. And only one man helped, and that was in the security checkpoint. People were looking at me critically as I staggered through the airport...but no one helped.

But on the way back, when it was the three of us (and much, much easier), everyone was offering to help. And people were helping...and they were enjoying it.

I've noticed this in myself. That when someone is *desperate* for anything -- friendship, attention, money, (at one time) cigarettes, I don't want to give. It's the people that don't really need it that I want to help.

Along the same lines, I've noticed that when Mike and I have more money (different phases of our careers etc.), we receive more gifts and more "help". People are more apt to treat you to coffee...more inclined to give you gifts...to take you to dinner. It's the weirdest thing. But when Mike and I were poor (about a year ago), there was little giving that came our way. (INTERJECTION: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT FROM FRIENDS. ONLY RELATIVES). I don't find myself doing this, but I do understand it. I know one woman who's respect is completely tied to income. If it's a rich person's wedding, she'll buy from Williams Sonoma. A poor person, she'll buy from Wal-Mart.

On a lighter note, I've been testing if I have the ability to become an alcoholic. I've been trying to drink as much as possible. My nature does not go this way. As much as I try, I can't force a dependency on it.

What a dangerous experiment.