As I told Jenn

I'm like the Princess and the Pea, only for the past week, I have not had my layers of protection up. I'm way, WAY overly sensitive.

It's unbelievable. I have the greatest friends. All of you are like making me feel like you like me, my blog, I should not stop writing etc. And right now, because of all the warm feedback, I'm actually going through something. Should I keep writing but risk this happening again? Can I handle putting my feelings up here and not having one on one feedback like in a conversation? I don't really know. I am a guarded person, despite how open I seem. This is like my diary.

What I wrote to Jessica yesterday was that I'm worried that I"m too vulernable for my own blog. Here's what I wrote to her (sorry for last line male readers):

I’m going to sit on this for a few days. It is less about people posting and coming to realize I may be very vulernable right now. I’m afraid of letting people in too deeply. Even though my posts haven’t sounded more introspective than the other ones, they are for me...I’m just wondering if it may be that I cannot handle having other people read them.

I also have my period and am very, very depressed in the shadow of Audrey’s visit. I very much miss living near my sister — on either coast.

Most people that are normal and not insecure would never care about "comments" and would never assume that people don't like them or are judging them if there are none. Most people would give the benefit of the doubt to their friends.

And as I'm writing this post all of the sudden I feel like, if I keep posting and don't plunge into secrecy, it looks (and feels) like my previous post was "for attention" and "to get more comments". (oh how pathetic I feel even writing this). And then I go to, well do I allow comments on this post? If I do, then everyone will feel the need to "comment" because of my last post. If I don't, then no one can "atone" since they feel this is all about them (which it's really more about if I can handle this or not).

I just want to be a normal person!

And the house is back up for sale.