I won't admit to allergies and I smell like moth balls.

So, I'm straying from my theme for a moment. But I have a fever, my head is pounding, my throat feels like the Sahara and strong smells are making my jaw hurt (weird but true). And will I admit that I have allergies. No. Not yet. I'm 100% Greek and I have pride. I'm peasant stock, you see. I'm thick skinned and pride myself in not getting sick.

Yet here I am. Totally sick. And when I'm in air condition, it all seems to go away.

Today was a fine day. But I have stopped going to the gym this week and have thrown any food consciousness out the window. Next week, it begins. Next week, I quit food and begin a regimented work out. I feel like I'm quitting smoking all over again. Egad.

I have learned a lot being this weight and have come to conclude that more money should be put into weight research. NO ONE should have to go through being fat/overweight/not skinney. No one. It is not fair. Skinney girls get more attention, get better deals, get better jobs. Before you could tell I was pregnant (when I just looked fat) all of the sudden I wasn't cute anymore. I was just annoying. Yes. I'm serious. The "cute" side of my personality turned to be seriously annoying and no one (that I didn't know) found me endearing. We live in a sick, sick society with these strangly starved body images. But if that's how it is, than medicine should reflect it because it's not fair.

In some ways, I have no right to even talk to this. I am not an extreme example of overweightedness. But this glimpse into it has made me realize how truly unfair it is.

Onto lighter subjects.

Thank you to the people that are reading this...AND COMMENTING! Wow. It really feels sort of cool...like when I was a reporter for the few years I did that. Here's a quick peek into what's going on in my life today:

1. Shi Ann is still safe: I was routing for Shi Ann (who I was previously against). I cannot believe I'm about to say this, but I hope she wins the compettition. While watching, the baby woke up so I said "Ok Emmett. You can watch Survivor with us tonight". And I brought him in, he fell asleep on my chest. And my heart was pounding so hard, I thought he would wake up.

2. "The Hunk" made dinner: We brought dinner to my grandmother and Aunt Betty. Mike made pastitiso which is a difficult Greek dish. I love it that he made the pastitiso and my Grandmother (100% Greek) adores him. She calls him "The Hunk".

3. I smell like moth balls: So here's what happened. Mike decided to "protect" my clothes when we got here. I couldn't wear any of them during pregnancy, so he put them all away with moth balls. Then, as I started to fit back into a few (a small few) of my old things, he began to bring them out. But they WREAKED of moth balls. He, because he is great, took on the project of learning how to get the smell out and has started to do so by hanging my clothes on a line each day. Well. It's not working. My favorite sweater smells like moth balls and I keep wearing it hoping the smell will just "go away". I don't think it's gonna and I'm worried about the psychological effects this is going to have on Emmett. Will he dream of opening a dry cleaning business? Will he live exclusively in attics?

4. Mike and I got into a fight at 4:10 this morning. As usual, it was my fault. Let me just say that a lot of the time I feel like Mike is the "right" one and Im' always wrong. Like I'm the dumb 16 year old that doesn't realize that I'm wrong and fights back, sounding totally ridiculous. Then, I grow up 15 years in the course of a half hour and have to apologize to Mike who is always so forgiving. In terms of the fight, this is going to sound totally ridiculous but maybe by embarrassing myself I'll stop being so immature...Basically, Emmett usually wakes up at 5:30 to nurse. Last night, he woke up at 4:10. Moments before he woke up, I woke up. So I heard the whole process. He made a few little cries and Mike got up to get him. I heard him (through the monitor) walk into the room and shut off the monitor. I shouted "MIKE GIVE HIM THE PASSIFIER". Mike came out and said "I haven't done anything yet". Then he came in and I threw a pillow at him and said "I'm F'in pissed off at you! You didn't try to make Emmett fall back asleep and now he's off schedule!". He said that when he looked at Emmett, he was smiling clearly awake and ready to nurse. I told Mike I didn't believe him.
As if Mike EVER lies.

5. I wore Emmett out today.I played with him intensely and didn't even recognize when he was tired. He was STARING at the swing, wanting to get in. What made me sad was that every time I put him down to play (like put him on his back to tickle him or something) he stared to cry thinking I was trying to make him go to sleep. It made me realize that I put him down for naps so often that he thinks that if I'm not holding him, I'm trying to put him down. I felt terrible so I am going to try to improve and make every second of awake time count.

6. I talked to a Mom I liked last night. Her name is Sheri and actually, she's from L.A. She and her husband were with Audrey at a bar and I ended up talking to her for quite awhile. Every week, they go out to this particular neighborhood bar (just the two of them). She stopped nursing at 7mos. Lost her weight at 9mos. They have someone they "trade" watching the kids with -- they watch her kids one night a week, she watches their kids one night a week -- and they are always able to go out. That is my style. She shares the philosophy that if you aren't happy your kids wont' be.

Anyway, that's the deal. Mike is talking tome. I need to print some information and do some other stuff, so goodnight.

E.K.G
-n-
E.M.G

I love my son.